Pool Rant by Lenny Speregen

 Water, Water Everywhere but Not a Pool to Dive In.

By Lenny Speregen

It’s no small secret that our school does not have a pool of

its own. For the scuba, life guard, and swim classes to

happen, our students have to travel to the Bushwick

Campus. With four schools in addition to The New York

Harbor School using the Bushwick facility – pool time is at

a premium. When the diving gets tough, the tough get

silly. So with that in mind…

Our principal, Jeff, has made a small contribution to the pool fund.  He gave us a glass of water.

Our pool temperature last week was 97 degrees Fahrenheit. The scuba class now has a new name – The Harbor School Lobsters.

Why do divers do back roll entries?  Because if they did a forward roll entries they’d still be in the boat!

We always dive with a buddy in case we see any sharks.  That way we have a 50/50 chance of getting away.  Then our dive buddy becomes our chum.

Did you know that Shakespeare wrote King Lear and Hamlet?  Ever wonder if they wrote back?

Would the ocean be any deeper if there were no sponges in it?

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?  Nothing, it just waved.

Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land never waves back.

 

How do crustaceans stay in touch?  They talk on their shell phones.

Why did the fish get pulled over?  He was tailgating.

Three guys are in a canoe.  They have four cigarettes but no lighter.  They decide to throw a cigarette overboard.  Now the boat is a cigarette lighter.

How do trees feel in the spring time?  Re-leaved.

Why shouldn’t you trust trees?  They’re really shady.

What’s the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

How many oars does it take to row a lamppost? Purple because aliens don’t wear hats.

A fish swam into a wall. Dam.

My friend was really sad. So I create ten puns to cheer him up. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

 

A seal is just a neutral sea lion. No ion.